I had intentions of writing a post about this subject a few weeks ago, but didn't get around to it. It has been rolling around in my head and I was reminded of it all too profoundly this weekend.
At school each morning we have our daily announcements which include the pledges (American and Oklahoma flags), moment of silence, birthdays, lunch menu, etc. One particular day, during the moment of silence a thought flitted through my mind and I found myself thinking/praying "Lord, help me to see them as You do."
That is such a nice sentiment. After all, that is what we are supposed to do isn't it? Love people as Christ loves us?
I have a confession to make, though. In that brief moment I found myself responding to that plea with, "No! I don't want to do that."
Gasp! Oh my! Why in the world would I think that?? How horrible!
Honestly, those thoughts really caught me off-guard and it caused me to question myself. Why would I NOT want to see my students through Jesus' eyes? What would make me think that?
Why?
Because it hurts.
That's right. It's so much easier to just look at someone on the surface than to take time to truly see who they are. If I look too deeply I might see pain or sorrow or heartache. It makes it a lot simpler for those of us who don't like to feel that ache in our heart and lump in our throat if we filter what we see to only what is pleasant and easy to handle.
However, "simple" and "easy" are not words that are regularly, if ever, associated with the Christian life. Seeing people through Christ's eyes is not always pain free or without difficulty.Like I said before, though, it IS what we are called to do.
In John 13 we see the picture of Jesus washing his disciples' feet and warning them of his coming crucifixion. He also told them that he was going to be betrayed by one of them. After all of that, he then says in verses 34-35:
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
Simple? Easy? I think not! There are no qualifying statements there. It's a basic command . . . Love them! And on top of that, Jesus knew that he was going to be betrayed and he loved them still.
I say this because, ultimately, I do my best to walk into that classroom each day and love them, each precious (or not-so-precious) one of them. I also know that some of them are not going to reciprocate or even act like they care how I treat them. But I will do my best, because that is what I am commanded to do.
And maybe, just maybe, someday they will realize that I was just doing my best to see them through His eyes.
I realize that my posts are few and far between and that it may seem that I've put away my virtual pen, but I decided when I started my blog to only write when I had something that I thought would be worth reading. The last several months have held many changes for me and I've been tempted to share my thoughts many times, but nothing ever felt right . . . until this evening.
I'm starting a new teaching job in August and have spent some time over the last week getting things looking nice in my classroom. I still have a LONG way to go, but I am slowly making progress. I was really excited when my principal gave us permission to paint our rooms and thought that would be a great way for me to spruce up my space and make it my own. It took several trips to Home Depot and lots of sample paint colors to finally decide on the one I wanted - gray - how creative (but it looks awesome!).
Anyway, as I started painting I noticed that the walls of my classroom looked horrible. They had pencil marks, scrapes, scratches, dints, dings, and pretty much just looked like they hadn't had any attention in years. This gave me even more motivation to paint because I just wanted to cover up all the mess that was on those walls! I didn't even clean them (I did dust a few spots up high and around the baseboards - my mother would be proud!). I just grabbed my brush and roller and went to town covering up what looked like years of wear and tear that had been ignored.
Wow! That coat of paint worked wonders and the transformation in that classroom was amazing. I can't wait to get in there and truly make it my own. It's going to be awesome!
While I was there this evening finishing up a few things, a gentleman came in my room to let me know that they were going to be stripping and resurfacing the floors in the hallway. This basically meant that I would have to leave because I wouldn't be able to walk in the hall once they got started. This got me confused because there have been multiple times over the last few weeks that we haven't been able to go work at school because they were doing the floors. I mean, seriously, how long does it take?!?!
Come to find out, as a text from my principal informed the staff, the floors were not done correctly the first time, so they were going to have to strip them again and repeat the process. My goodness, that's a lot of work. I hope it gets taken care of and that the floors are in tip-top shape very soon.
I'm sure you're wondering why I felt like the painting of my classroom and resurfacing of the floors were a worthwhile subject for my blog. Good question . . . so here are my thoughts.
As I was driving home tonight and kind of replaying these events, God brought to mind a very practical application of these two very mundane things.
I was considering what I had done with a simple coat of paint and I realized that I had accomplished nothing except to cover up the old blemishes and scars that were already there and give the room a fresh outward appearance. I didn't take any time or energy to wipe away the grime that was there. I simply masked it to make it appear clean.
Contrast that with what the gentlemen were doing to those floors. Slowly and carefully they were removing each layer of the old and messed up surface so they can deep clean it and seal it with a new layer. When that process is complete that floor will look brand new and it will be evident that the process, though time-consuming and hard, accomplished an end result that will last for a long time.
The practical application is that we have something in common with those walls and that floor. We have layers of old dirt and grime and as we go through life we are left with lots of wear and tear, but we have a choice to make. We can choose to cover up what is there - sin, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, bitterness, etc. - and give the appearance of being clean and new, or we can take the time and care to let God remove those layers slowly and methodically until our real self is exposed and our clean and pure heart is all that is left to work with. I like what The Message translation has to say in Psalm 51:7-15.
"Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise"
I don't like the process of working through those layers, but knowing the end result can make it worth the pain and heartache we sometimes must go through to get there. So, the next time I walk down the shiny waxed hallway and into my freshly painted classroom, I hope it will serve as a reminder of who I truly want to be and stir my heart to desire holiness.
I do not claim to be any kind of Old Testament scholar (I apologize to my OT professor - freshman year at OBU was a long time ago!), but recently I've been reading about Moses and I've found his life and story to be intriguing. As long as I can remember, I've known the story of Moses as a baby floating down the river, how Pharaoh's daughter rescued him, how he grew up and eventually was used of God to help deliver the Israelites.
I learned all about how Moses couldn't understand why God would choose him and that maybe God should choose Aaron to carry out his plan because Moses didn't feel qualified. I remember all those things, but somehow managed to miss something that to many people is probably obvious . . . like I said, I'm not an Old Testament scholar . . . I'm allowed to overlook the obvious from time to time.
Anyway, I've plodded my way through Leviticus and Numbers and have made it to Deuteronomy. I love how in the book of Deuteronomy, Moses kind of recaps what the people already know and how it helps them and us to relive all of those things. Whether it be Moses telling the people something more than once, or God telling Moses something and then Moses passing it on to the people, it seems that there should be no way you could miss the message God is trying to get across.
Of course, God knew that no matter what he did for the Israelite people there would be many times when they would turn their back on him. And it's easy for us to judge their lack of faithfulness to a God who proved over and over his power and provision for them and overlook the fact that we ourselves do exactly the same thing.
But the thing that intrigues me the most about Moses is how he followed God and led the people, all the while knowing that he would not get the reward of entering the Promised Land.
That is the obvious thing that I missed!
Here it is in Deuteronomy 1:37, " . . . He said to me, 'Moses, not even you will enter the Promised Land!"
What?! I think I would have thrown my hands up and said, "Fine! I quit! What's the use of leading these complaining and disobedient people, eating manna, walking through the wilderness, and doing everything you've asked and not get the benefit of seeing it through to the end? That's just not right!"
Moses didn't do that.
Instead he continued to lead and he even encouraged the people as they got closer to the time when they would cross the Jordan River into the land God had promised their ancestors. I don't know if I could do what he did or say what he said to the people.
When Moses had finished giving these instructions to all the people of Israel, he said, "I am now 120 years old, and I am no longer able to lead you. The Lord has told me, 'You will not cross the Jordan River.' But the Lord your God himself will cross over ahead of you. He will destroy the nations living there, and you will take possession of their land. Joshua will lead you across the river, just as the Lord promised. . . . So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." . . . Then Moses called for Joshua, and as all Israel watched, he said to him, "Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them." (Deuteronomy 31:1-7)
Does it make you wonder if that's why God chose Moses in the first place? He knew Moses would be faithful even though he would not get to benefit in the end.
I'm still pondering what exactly I am supposed to gain from all of this. I mean, trying to compare anything in my life to Moses seems ridiculous! Is God trying to teach me something about being like Moses? Or am I supposed to gain something from Moses' words to the Israelites? It certainly is reassuring to hear that "the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."
Maybe it's both . . . Maybe I need to ask myself if God has placed me in a position where I need to have the faithfulness and diligence of Moses. Maybe God is trying to tell me to be faithful even if the outcome doesn't appear to be what I had hoped for. Maybe God is encouraging me to keep going and not give up.
What is it for you? Are you finding yourself in the position of a Moses? Or are you having to be strong and courageous as you trust the Lord's faithfulness?
I think if I got the chance to talk to Moses I would ask him why he remained faithful through everything, even knowing that he would not be given the chance to experience walking into the Promised Land.
I don't know what he would say, but I like to imagine that he might say something as simple as, "When God asked me to lead, he showed me his power. When God asked me to follow, he showed me his faithfulness. He never failed me nor abandoned me. Who am I to question a God like that?"
It's been a while since I posted and I must say that I have missed it. However, I decided not to force myself to write something if I didn't really have anything worthwhile to say. Well, today I was given a reminder by a 2nd grader that I feel is worth sharing.
While the mild winter that we have been enjoying has been great, I think it's safe to say that students and teachers alike wouldn't complain about a snow day. I was having a conversation today with one of my second grade classes about how nice it would be to have a snow day, but that I didn't think that was going to happen any time soon. After my comment one of the boys in the class looked at me and said, "I'll talk to Jesus about it." I looked into his sweet face, smiled, and said, "That's good. We can talk to Jesus about anything can't we?"
What seemed to be a brief and insignificant conversation has managed to stick with me. As of late, I am learning that the advice from this 2nd grade boy can and should be our first course of action regardless of what we are facing. Talking to Jesus about snow days may seem somewhat ridiculous to my adult way of thinking, but how often do I disregard talking to Jesus about things that I might consider more important? How would my life and thinking be different if I paused to share my thoughts with my Savior and ask for His guidance and wisdom?
Recently, my Sunday School class did a study of the book of Nehemiah. As we worked our way through the account of this servant of God, I was struck by how faithful he was to pray. His story is not one of an easy life, but Nehemiah is an example of a life dependent on communication with God.
Jesus himself is the greatest example of talking to the Father. We see many accounts of Jesus spending time in prayer and communication with God. Luke 5:16 says, "Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray." I must add that if you have ever done a Bible study or heard a sermon on prayer that there is always the reminder that prayer is not meant to be one-sided. Yes, God wants us to share our heart with Him and bring our burdens, cares, and concerns to him. However, we must then be willing to listen for His response and direction and be willing to follow.
So, whether it be snow days or something that will affect my life for longer than a day or two, the point is that in this life I need to do what my 2nd grade friend suggests.
"Music is forever; music should grow and mature with you, following you right on up until you die." ~Paul Simon
Isn't that a great quote? I like the word picture of music growing and maturing and following me through life. As I look back through my life I can hear the music that has followed me and each song is attached to a memory or special time in my life. I also like what Tennessee Williams said:
"In memory everything seems to happen to music."
It's like our memories are set to some fabulous soundtrack. So what is your soundtrack? What songs do you attach to your memories? I thought it would be fun to list some of the greatest hits on my memory soundtrack. (Feel free to read AND listen/watch or you can skip all the videos. I just got started and couldn't stop. It was so much fun!) Enjoy!
"In His Time" - This is the first song I ever sang as a solo in church. I stood on the stage of FBC Guthrie and sang this precious song when I was about 5 years old. Dad was the minister of music at the time and I had to turn around and look at him once because I forgot the words. What a great memory . . . "Lord, my life to you I bring. May each song I have to sing be to you a lovely thing. In your time." "Rainbow Connection" - THIS is the song that I remember from elementary music (this and H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N spells Halloween). It must have had a huge impact for me to choose music education as my career. I can still see the classroom where we had music. The wood paneled walls, the folding chairs and the words to "Rainbow Connection" written on chart paper on the wall. Every time we went to music I wanted to sing that song. I'm sure that when we did I was "that" student who sang louder than everyone else! "Lost In Your Eyes" - Okay, all you closet Debbie Gibson fans . . . come out, come out wherever you are! When I was in the 6th grade my family moved from Pryor to Grove and my 6th grade class at Lincoln Elementary got me the Debbie Gibson "Out of the Blue" cassette tape for a going away gift. I was thrilled! I could probably still sing most of the songs on that tape, but I will just share my favorite. "The Right Stuff" - From Debbie Gibson to New Kids on the Block! Wow! Middle School must have been crazy. I hate to admit, but NKOTB was the first concert I ever went to. I was one of hundreds of screaming teeny-boppers who thought those guys were all that and a bag of chips! That memory should give me a new perspective on all my Justin Beiber fans at school. HA! "El Shaddai" - Ahhh . . . Amy, dear, Amy. So many songs to choose from but I think I sang this one as much as any other when I was in the 9th and 10th grade. Of course, I probably didn't sing all the words correctly, but neither did anyone else so it didn't really matter. Some other favorites: Thy Word, Breath of Heaven, Baby Baby, etc. etc. "In Heaven's Eyes" - Sandi Patty . . . her songs span at least a decade in my memory. This particular song was one I loved singing and would always imagine I sounded "just like Sandi." What an amazing instrument God gave her. I have so many favorites but here are just a few: Love in any Language, More Than Wonderful, We Shall Behold Him, etc. etc. "Jesus Will Still Be There" - Point of Grace . . . I saw these girls when they were still calling themselves Say So. I probably still have the cassette tape somewhere. Nevertheless, they are an icon of my high school years. I sang this song many times and still think it is powerful. "When it looks like you've lost it all, and you haven't got a prayer, Jesus will still be there." This is just one of my many POG favorites including "This Day" which I sang at my high school graduation. "Softly and Tenderly" - Cynthia Clawson sang this one. It is so powerful! Mom thought I needed to sing this, so my senior year of high school I learned it and it soon became one of my "standards." I loved and still love to sing this song. "Come home, come home. Ye who are weary come home. Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling. Calling, oh sinner, come home."
"Shout to the Lord" - This song is kind of the anthem for my college years. It was during these years that I started to truly understand worship and what that looks like for me. My time at OBU was a huge blessing for me and I am so grateful that God gave me the experiences and memories that I have of those years. "Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing. Power and majesty, praise to the king. Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name . . . "
"Crucified with Christ" - This Phillips, Craig and Dean song was the theme song for our cabin at Falls Creek one year (thank you Brent Hazelrigg) and it was so powerful. I can still remember being in the cabin for devotion time and hearing everyone singing these words with their whole heart. What a tremendous moving of God. "For I am crucified with Christ, not I but Christ that lives within me. His cross will never ask for more than I can give, for it's not my strength but his. There's no greater sacrifice for I am crucified with Christ and yet I live."
My college years were filled with music and I could go on forever listing songs and artists and memories from that era in my life. However, if I pause and think about one song that sticks with me and will forever bring a smile to my face, joy to my heart and tears to my eyes, I have to remember "A Gaelic Blessing" by John Rutter. The Chorale ended every concert with this piece. Every spring we would have an end-of-the-year party for the Chorale and it would always conclude with singing Gaelic Blessing one last time for the seniors. That is one of my greatest memories of all time.
"Who Am I" - Moving into my "young professional/single" years, I was an avid Watermark fan. This is one of my favorites but I could probably name at least ten more of their songs that would fall on the top of my list. "Who am I, that you would love me so gently. Who am I, that you would recognize my name. Who am I, that you would speak to me so softly. Conversation with the love Most High. Who am I?"
"How Could I Ask For More" - June 21, 2003 - One of the greatest days of my life. That is the day I became Mrs. Kevin Howze. Music was a big part of my wedding and I wanted it to be special. Well, I don't know how I pulled it off, but I surprised Kevin and sang this song to him during our wedding. I think he was pretty stunned and overwhelmed. Personally, I can't believe I was able to squeak it out without crying. I'm so glad I sang it. The words were so appropriate to how I felt then and even more today. "So many things I thought would bring me happiness. Some dreams that are realities today. Such an irony the things that mean the most to me are the memories I've made along the way . . . So thank you Lord, how could I ask for more?"
"When I Close My Eyes" - This piece written by Jim Papoulis is one I have done with my school honor choir several times. As a music teacher I obviously believe that music can reach people in a way that nothing else can. The explanation that Mr. Papoulis wrote to go with the song is very moving and I wanted to share it before sharing the song because in my job, I teach kids just like those that he is speaking of and they are the reason I do what I do.
"It seems to me now that we are all struggling with an increasing amount of negative influences in the lives of children. They are bombarded by information that ultimately erodes their sense of self. In the classroom, in the rehearsal hall, I have been fortunate to speak with children from diverse cultures and backgrounds. I have heard their songs and their silences, and what they have shared has made me clearly see that in order for a child to feel strength and to believe in themselves, it must come from within. 'When I close my eyes then I can see, and I am not afraid.'" - Jim Papoulis
(This is kind of a strange video, but it was the only one I could find that I thought sounded good.)
It's been an interesting journey, but hopefully you have enjoyed the musical ride. I could have included so many more songs but these are just a few to maybe get your wheels turning about what music your memories are set to. What is your soundtrack? It's actually kind of fun when you get started, but beware because it is hard to stop! So as I bring this post to a close I guess I must choose one last song on this musical journey. It was a hard choice, but I think this song sums it up nicely. It also helps me keep in perspective what is really important.
"The Stage is Bare" - This is probably not one of Sandi Patty's most well-known songs, but I think it is one of her most powerful. The image of standing on a stage with no one to hear you except the Heavenly Father just takes my breath away. "It was so easy to call you Lord when a thousand voices sang your praise. But there's no one to hear me now. So hear me now, be near me now." I spend so much of my life in front of people. That is the nature of my job and the talents that God has gifted me with, but if I ever reach a point when I forget that He is the only audience that matters I have lost perspective on all that is important. May my heart stay pure before Him and may my worship be for Him alone.
I pray that the soundtrack of your life brings happy memories, poignant moments and powerful worship for the one true God. Blessings to you all!
God has really been working on me. It seems that I have a little power struggle going on and He is trying to show me that I don't need to take care of everything on my own. It seems like when things in my life start to pile up that's when I have the hardest time letting go. I readily admit to being the kind of person who will do things myself before letting someone else just so they get done the way I want them to. This characteristic isn't always beneficial when all these things I'm doing on my own start to fall apart.
Recently my stress level has been a bit on the high side and so I have really been playing tug of war with God. After all, these are my problems and my responsibilities so I will just take care of them myself! Right? Umm . . . NO! Why can't I just say, "Okay, I give up! You can have it. All of it and I don't want to be responsible for it anymore."
If you've been in my place, you understand the difficulty of letting go. It's hard and at times painful to trust that the Savior is going to do what is best for us. That sounds ridiculous because He is God and, of course, he's going to take care of us. But how many of us will hold on to something because it feels safer to hold on than to have the faith to let go?
In Matthew 14:26-27 the disciples were in their boat fighting some strong winds and rain when they see Jesus coming towards them, walking on water. The scripture says they were terrified and thought it was a ghost. Jesus says to them "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."
Then Peter says to Jesus, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to you on the water." (vs. 28) Jesus did just as Peter requested and Peter began his trek across the stormy, wind-tossed water. He was actually walking on water! Wow! If only the story ended there. However, Peter lets fear take over and begins to sink. In his desperation he cries out, "Lord, save me!"
The passage concludes with, "Immediately, Jesus stretched out his hand and took hold of him, and said to him, 'You of little faith, why did you doubt?' When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'You are certainly God's Son.'" (vs. 31-33)
I see much of myself in the humanity of Peter. It's almost like I sometimes take my problems to Jesus and say, "If you are who you say you are then take all of these trials and struggles from me and show me how I'm supposed to survive this." It sounds really arrogant and I think sometimes that is how I approach my Savior. The crazy part is that Jesus does just what I request and gladly takes my trials and struggles and daily gives me the measure of grace to survive.
This is where my humanity really steps in, and like Peter I start to become distracted by the wind and waves that are surrounding me. My arrogance starts to falter and I begin to truly feel my weakness when I finally reach the point that I have to cry out, "Lord, save me." At this point Jesus takes my hand and says "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When I hear him say this it is not in a voice of anger or condescension, but from a heart of love. Firm and gentle, yet powerful enough to calm the wind and waves that surround me. This is when I can truly worship and in my heart say to the Lord, "You are certainly God's Son."
The process of letting go and leaving things in the hands of the Lord is not easy and is often times a little painful. After all, having to humble ourselves is not something that comes naturally. Humility and brokenness, although difficult, can give us an unexplainable sense of peace and true freedom to worship the Son of God.
I know these things to be true because I reached that point of brokenness and humility just within the past few days. It wasn't without pain and the battle is certainly not over as I'm sure I will fight these winds and waves again. But my prayer is that the next time I find myself walking toward the Savior I will keep my focus on his outstretched hand and trust him to see me through the storm.
I want to share with you a song that is becoming very special to me. The lyrics are so powerful and remind me that there is no better place to be than in the arms of Jesus.
Recently I found myself thinking about the small things in my life that bring me joy. Don't get me wrong, this was not some deep moment where I was "pondering the little things in my life" and "contemplating how they have made me the person I am today" (by the way, the quotes were said in a very snooty tone - you can re-read them that way if you would like.) Anyway, I was just thinking about things that make me happy and put a smile on my face. I decided that it would be fun to write a list and just see what I can come up with. Enjoy!
Dr. Pepper - Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I love a good Dr. Pepper. Preferably from a fountain over ice. I will drink it from a can if it's cold or from a 2 liter over ice, but my favorite is the fountain. I know I'm rather picky with my drink selection, but this is my list so I can be that way. OH! Absolutely no Mr. Pibb!! You might say it tastes the same, but ask any true Dr. Pepper drinker and they will agree with me that DP is the only way to go!!
Haribo Gummi Bears, Skittles, Hot Tamales, Milk Duds, etc., etc. - I love sweets! It's that simple. Did you notice what all of these sweets have in common? That's right! They are all chewy. So, I not only love sweets, but I love chewy sweets. Chewy sweets and braces don't mix so you can imagine how excited I was to get my braces off last September. My sweet tooth did a little happy dance!! (Okay, that was a little corny. And now I have a vision in my head of some goofy elementary school health video starring a dancing tooth.)
Hobby Lobby - Just those words make me smile. I could spend lots of time just wandering around and looking at everything. I also love that they have a 40% off coupon every other week. Oh the joy of feeling like you're getting a real bargain! I also can't go in for just one thing. I have to make a swoop through the whole store. It's one of my happy places!
Text Messages - It makes me happy when my phone makes that little sound that notifies me of a text message. It makes me even happier when it's from someone who was thinking of me and just decided to say hi. I should send more text messages like that. Maybe my message will make someone's day as much as their messages make mine. Books - Books make me happy. I love to read and have that feeling like I have become a part of someone else's world. I don't like books that are too deep or make you think too much because for me reading is for enjoyment. (That makes me sound kind of shallow. HA!) I also love children's books and use them frequently in my classroom. I can vividly remember all of my school libraries and I remember being so excited when we had the book fair. I haven't change much I guess because I still love the book fair!
Comfy Clothes - I am not fru-fru or fancy by any means so it's not much of a surprise that I love comfy clothes. Being able to come home and change into my favorite sweats and a t-shirt is pure happiness. It's like the stress of my day goes away when I trade my work clothes for something more comfortable. And any of my teacher friends can testify to the fact that jeans day is a happy day! For some reason it just makes Fridays more bearable. School/Office Supplies - It could be something as simple as a new roll of tape or as big as a new computer, but for some reason school and office supplies have always made me happy. I think when I was young it made me feel grown up and important to have new school supplies. Now when I get new supplies it makes me feel like I have a fresh start on something. It's the reason I get a new notebook or new fancy file folders at the beginning of every school year. I always have grand plans of using the fabulous new supplies to keep myself ridiculously organized. But who am I kidding?? I am not and will probably never be ridiculously organized. However, I will have the most fabulous disorganization system you've ever seen. Bring on the sticky notes!!
Well, that's a brief list of some things that bring me joy and maybe you can relate to some of them. While writing this and thinking of these silly things that make me smile I thought of something that isn't quite so tangible, but it is something that definitely brings me joy.
Quiet - I love to talk and laugh and sing, but at times the thing that makes me the happiest is just being quiet. There is something to be said for simply being still. We have a large framed print of Psalm 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God" that has hung in our house for years. There have been times that it has just become a piece of artwork in our home. However, there are moments when it draws me back to where my mind and heart need to be. In the quiet I find myself still and safe in the arms of God. In these times He speaks to me and gives me peace. He changes my heart and guides my path. He heals my wounds and gives me the strength to get up and keep going. How I long for that quiet in a world that seems to have forgotten that it is okay to be still. When I graduated from high school I got a purple Pontiac Sunbird. It was a beautiful car and I was so excited that it was mine. I was going to college at OBU and would drive to Seminole, where my parents lived, for church. It was about a thirty minute drive and after four years I had learned that inside that purple car was my prayer closet. It was my time to pray and talk to God (most of the time aloud), but it was also a wonderful chance to turn everything off and just let Him speak to me. In 2001 I got a new car and that was great, but letting that purple car go was hard because of the precious time spent with my Savior within it's doors. There are days when I long for the solitude I felt while driving those back roads between Seminole and OBU. Life is a little crazier now so it seems hard to find that time, but when I make the effort to just be still, I always feel the presence of the Lord.
I believe that God wants us to have joy and happiness in our lives even in little things like Dr. Pepper, text messages, and comfy clothes. We must remember to keep things in perspective though. My prayer for each of us is that in the midst of enjoying those little things we don't miss an opportunity to enjoy the quiet and simply be still. May you feel safe and loved in the arms of your Savior.
